Ok...here's my journal fortune...
"Instead of 8 for dinner, we had 13...no biggie."
According to other journals, your fortune is found in your 23rd entry, 5th sentence..I think that my fortune is rather appropriate, don't you? To me it just tells me that I've got my hands full of unexpected happenings but that I just deal with it. Right?!
Hi! FINALLY I can update my journal!! As you may remember, this past weekend was the annual Deacon Chicken Barbeque. (I call it the weekend from HELL.) Friday I unloaded 250 half chickens intothe fridge at Church. Saturday 6 of us were at Church from 1030am til about 215pm...We had to clean said chickens, dip in marinade and pack into containers so they could marinate all night. We shucked about 300 pieces of corns. Cleaned up a bit, lined some sheet pans with foil and made the kitchen ready for Sunday's festivities.
I was up at 530am Sunday morning. Showered, ran to get everyone coffee and dinuts from Dunkin Donuts, got to Church by 7am. The fire pit guys (some of the male Deacons) arrived at about the same time to start the ROARING fire that we needed to cook all those chickens! 3 of us started to par-bake the chicken in the 2 ovens..64 pieces at a time!! Kitchen crew arrived around 830am to start packing coleslaw and rolls with butter. Can I tell you that it was like a well-oiled machine?! Things couldn't have gone any smoother than they did...and THANK GOD THEY DID!!!! LOL!! We had 250 chicken dinners (1 half chicken, 1 piece corn on the cob, 1 roll w/butter and 1 serving of slaw) ready by 1040am!! DONE! This has NEVER happened before!!
Church let out just as we were closing the last "to go" container..Out of the 250 meals we had for sale, we sold 213!! The rest we took to a battered women's shelter that we help out once a month. AND one of the Deacon's spouses said he would pay for half of all the leftovers!!! So at 1230pm my co-hort and I took these meals over to the shelter. I was supposed to go to the minister's home for a celebration of his daughter's baptism but I passed out til 430pm!
Then I had to get ready to go to Confirmation Dinner back at Church...That was done by 800pm...and so was I!!
Herman was busy cleaning all day yesterday because we are trying to refinance so that we can put our home equity loan into our mortgage..This means that we have to have the house assessed...so it has to look nice. So both of us were beat last night...Oh yeah!! I mowed the back and side yards on Saturday!! (The new lawn mower is slef propelled so it was easy!)
The Big One got out of hospital on Saturday and has been nothing but MISERABLE since then. Argumentative, bitchy, miserable..unhappy...self-pitying..Ugh...She's really bringing me down and making the rest of the family miserable, too. She has had several blow ups today, all related to the fact that the other 2 girls have "borrowed" her things and ether lost or ruined them. Well...she has done this to THEM more than once so I have NO SYMPATHY. So she;s mad at me because I haven't yelled at the girls (BUT I HAVE) and poor poor her...life has been awful...no one loves her...::::SCREAMING::::: She's f'n impossible!!!
So, tonight I'm TRYING to catch up on laundry..have to clean up my bedroom a bit..get read for the work week ahead..I really need a break...Maybe I'll just say "screw it all!", make a drink and curl up into bed and have a little "pity party"...Nah...too much to be done here..
<sigh>
Just got my horoscope...
To say there's an awful lot going on at the moment would be an understatement. You're keeping up with it, because your specialty is speed -- not to mention stress -- but that doesn't mean you won't be glad for the weekend.
Now how did they know?! LOL!!!
A warm "THANK YOU" to everyone who has left encouraging words in my journal. And "thank you" to everyone else who has read my journal and has said a prayer for my daughter or kept her in their thoughts. I know that alot of you have done this for her and I truly appreciate it.
Today is a MUCH better day. After work yesterday I went to the nail place across the street to get a manicure and pedicure. ( I used the gift certificate that the kids at work gave me for my birthday!) Yesterday at work Jessica (the 20 year old bartender that went to see "The View" with me) gave me the sweetest gift!! She saw how upset I was on Tuesday so she bought me a pink lion Beany Baby and a verythoughtful card. In the card she just wrote that she hoped that everything works out for us and that I should go with what's in my heart. And I did..
I went to the hospital last night to see The Big One. She's still in ICU because they can't get her blood sugars regulated enough to get her off the insulin drip (insulin thru the IV)...She has had a migraine since Monday and can't bare light. The doctors wanted to put a tube into her stomach to drain blood but she wouldn't allow them to. She said that while she was in the ER she remembers being in a wheelchair and then waking up on the floor, with nurses trying to pick her up and get her onto a stretcher. She was blacking out from a too-high blood sugar. (She seems to remember that it was over 700 when she got to the hospital..normal is 95-115.) All in all, tho, she looked 100% better than she did on Tuesday morning. I told her that I would allow her back under strict conditions. She's not so sure that she wants to come back. That's her perogative. She'll be in the hospital for a while longer so we have a bit of time to get the contract together, have her look at it and to decide if this is she can deal with it. I fnot, she will have to move.
I'm feeling better about this, probably because I feel more in control of the situation. One of my biggest problems is that I can get SOOOO overwhelmed that I cannot get my thoughts straight. Then I spiral into an abyss of fear, worry and anxiety. Not a nice place to be.
Soooo, I'm off to the shower so that I can get ready for work. I have 250 pieces of chicken coming in today (Deacon's Barbeque!!) and I'll have to schlep them all over to Church, where I hope to GOD there'senough room for me to store them!! (Last year was a nightmare..I actually had to store some chicken in the Church itself, back in the Sacristy where they prepare communion!!)
Have I mentioned how busy I'm gonna be this weekend, what with 250 chicken dinners to prepare and sell?! (I think we only pre-sold about 125 so my sales committe had better kick it up a notch!)
Have a great day everyone...and thanks for making mine a much brighter one!! :)
Well, after receiving the news that she didn't have any drugs or alcohol is her system I was then left to decide if we were going to allow her back home. My feeling is that we SHOULD give her another chance ONLY because of the fact that her drug/alcohol screens came back negative. Yes, she was a bitch on wheels..and has numerous psychiatric problems...My fear is that by telling her to leave she will go back to using and to doing what she does to support that addiction. I know that I have no control over that but I want to give her a chance..
BUT...Herman and most of the other children DO NOT want her back..They don't care that the drug/alcohol screens are negative..They just want her out. This, because living with her is like living with a tornado trapped in a house. We cancelled the contract on the cell phone that she SWORE up and down she'd pay for. Have yet to see a penny for it.
Anyway...my feeling is this: Everyone in the house make a list of requirements and rules for The Big One to live by. Herman and I will look them over and compose a sort of contract that she will be required to sign. Should she slip up ONCE, she will have to move out. This way I will feel secure in my mind that I have done all I can do for her. I'm a big "NO ENABLING" person..and I feel at this point I may be crossing that line.
So, I want the line re-drawn...and let the battle begin. (Of course, the "battle" has already begun...between Herman and I. He feels that I'm taking her side...which I'm not. I feel that I have to give her this last chance..that's all.)
My hope is that she's gonna get totally pissed off at me and get well, just to prove me wrong. Trust me, I'm also a big believer of "God helps those who help themselves" and I am well aware of the fact that only the addict can make themselves better...IF that's what they want.
Here's to hoping that I don't burst out in tears at work today...
Well, The Big One has done it YET again. She went out Sunday night and when she came home Monday afternoon, she looked as tho she had done drugs or had been drinking. She was passed out on the couch all day long. I kept asking her what she had done and she told me to take money out of her wallet and buy a drug test to prove that she hadn't done anything. All day long she was passed out, either on the couch, my bed or in her room. I told her that I had had it and that she had to move out. She blamed HErman and I for her condition because her insulin was home and we wouldn't let her come home after 1am Sunday night. (This, because, she is very inconsiderate when she comes home. She's noisy and she starts looking around the kitchen for something to eat/drink. Lights go on, goes in the bathroom right outside my door..Arghhhh.) So, we hear her ALL NIGHT LONG last night, coughing and throwing up. At 4am this morning she comes upstairs to my bedroom and tells me that she needs to getto the hospital because she's blacking out and her heart is racing. Up I get, take her to the hospital. I literally dropped her off there. On the way out of the house, she screamed at Herman, " I hate you!! F*** YOU!!"
All day long she kept telling me that all this was my fault...she wanted to die...why did I have to give birth to her?...she didn't ask to be born...her life was awful..and that I have had an easy life!! PLEASE..To me, life is what you choose to make it. And she has choosen this life.
All we expected of her was for her to take care of herself, not use drugs or drink, to work so that she could support her medications..We pay the car insurance, the food bill..Damn..she's into us for well over $2000.00!! And she claims that she's not paying us back because WE OWE HER THIS..because PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE THEIR CHILDREN AND DO THINGS FOR THEM. Um, yeah...but she's 22 years old and should be supporting herself. When she was is school we didn't pressure her...but she quit school last week because we got mad at her for drinking and getting violently ill and winding up in the hospital. School for the 1 semester she was in, was approx. $800.00, of which we wouldn't have asked her to pay back.
So Herman and I had YET another sleepless night because of her and we're both exhausted. So much so that I had to leave work early (besides the fact that it was dead and there were 4 waiters on) because I thought I was gonna burst into tears. Now I have to cancel the cell phone that she swore she would pay us for and we have yet to see a dime...I have to tell her (not today, because I'll wind up screaming)that she CANNOT come back home and that she needs to get her things out of the house as soon as she's well enough.
You know, yes..I love my daughter but I HATE the things that she's doing. to herself and to us. She shows no signs of being responsible for herself. She has shown no gratitude for us allowing her to move back in and support her. This is a child who was living in a damn car last summer, nothing to eat and a $200.00 a day drug habit..(if not more)..I don't take credit for her getting better...she did that. But then don't blame ME when you screw up!!
I'm so upset right now..verge of tears at work..Thankfully I have a therapist appointment today. Then I need to get to Church to clean the refrigerator so that I can fit 250 pieces of chicken in there on Friday.
I know, I know...chin up..look ahead...somedays it's really hard to, tho...And today is just one of those days....
UPDATE: The Big One just called and claims that her drug and alcohol screens came back negative...Is in ICU and says that she is in very bad shape...Why then do I feel no sympathy??
Sorry it's been so long since I posted..My birthday was nice. Herman and I spent the day together, after he took The Big One to the hospital..We had lunch out together then we went to The Barge for dinner with my family, my sister and her family and my mom. Then we dropped the kids back home and Herman and I went to The Cornerstone (where I work) and had a drink. I worked Friday...make OK money.
Yesterday was a wasted day. Herman spent all damn day at a powerlifting sompetition just to see 1 guy, Mike Miller, lift. We were told that he would be lifting in the morning then they changed it to a little after 1pm..Well...he didn't lift til well after 430pm..Herman wasn't happy. He spent all day in a stinky gymnasium at a high school and the guy didn't get the squat he wanted. (He was going for a WORLD record of 1200 pounds!! The guy weighs about 375 pounds...afetr losing about 50 pounds!!!) I went earlier in the day but the people there actually were scary...one guy (who had beady little eyes that were TOO close together) ranted on and on about how when his daughter was old enough to date he was gonna take the prospective date and introduce him to Mike Miller (the 375 pound guy I just mentioned) and then show him the cats (we're talking lions and tigers her) that he keeps and if all else failed...his roomful of firearms! He was a very SCARY dude. After that little rant, I turned to my friend Brenda and asked her if she had just heard "Dueling Banjos" playing in the background...LOL!!
I did get to the spa for my birthday and may I tell you...It was SHEER Heaven!! I felt like Gumby when I left there! I have a little bit left on my gift certificate so I'm gonna add some of my own money and head back there in a few weeks for another massage!! WOO-HOO!! Some of the people at work pitched in and bought me a gift certificate for a manicure/ pedicure! Wasn't that so nice?? I was sooo happy!!
Today we're going to buy a new grill (even tho we have rough winters, we use our grill all year long!!) because our old grill is SHOT. I haven't gotten my bicycle yet because Herman needs to clean out the shed. We'll probably all get new bikes sometime this week. We like to ride our bikes on a local Greenway. The kids enjoy riding with us, even tho they're getting older.
The Big One is home fromthe hospital since yesterday. She had a stomach flu that sent her diabetes spinning out of control. She's headed back to work today.
Well...that's all I have for now..Oh, It's GORGEOUS out today..almost 80 degrees!! Blue skies!! Windows all open!! Germs outta here!! Yay!!! Spring is FINALLY here!!!
Peace out!!
Ya!y! I've survived yet another year!! Let's see...as I'm typing this, HErman is taking The Big One to the hospital YET AGAIN...She's in DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) because she decided that she should have a few drinks the other night. She's sick as a dog and it's her own fault. Boo is upstairs in bed with nausea and cramps. At least Ray and The Boy made it to school.
My plan for the day is: A) Go to the local spa and get a massage and pedicure. B) Go out to breakfast/lunch with Herman. C) Go to Sports Authority and pick out a bike. and D) Go out to dinner with my family to a local seafood restaurant, The Barge.
Well...I hear the teakettling calling, "Sharon!! Get me off this burner..NOW!! It's getting HOTTER than HADES!!" LOL...
Peace everyone!
Hey everyone! I haven't died..yet. Just been VERY busy..Had Deacon's meeting this evening. Busy meeting..planning for our annual Chicken Barbeque. ::sigh:: Need a little down time but not gonna get it for awhile.
Just wanted to let you all know that I'm thinking about ALL of you..and I'll post as soon as I get a moment to breathe! LOL!! Maybe Thursday...my 29th birthday (for the 14th time, LOL!!)..And HEY! Dar says that the "ALL GIRLS CRUISE" is pretty much a GO!! (Can you see me jumping UP and DOWN!! The best part?! NO KIDS!! WOO F'n HOOOOOOO!!!)
Anywa...I hope that all is well with ALL of you...take care..
Peace...and love...and understanding..
(Dar: I know you're gonna disagree with this entry...TOO BAD!! LOL!!)
1. We have actual seasons: it rains in the Spring, gets hot in the Summer, cools off and leaves fall in the Fall and snows in the winter..JUST LIKE GOD INTENDED!!
2. We have beaches, mountains, green valleys and a beautiful area called the Pine Barrens, a place filled with brackish water and pine trees.
3. Not everyone from New Jersey actually says: New Joisey, goil (girl) or Oh my Gawd!! No, we're not all like the Sopranos, either..
4. We live close to the greatest city in the world, NYC!! A mecca of culture, clubs, restaurants and theatre!! And we don't have to drive there because...
5. We have mass transit! We have a vast network of buses, trains and taxis.
6. We have many quaint towns, my town included!
7. Sure, our cost of living is higher than most states but incomes are alot higher to compensate.
8. Alot of actors/actresses come from NJ. Susan Sarandon is from the next town over from me, as was the recently deceased Robert Pastorelli (Eldin on "Murphy Brown"). Robert Hedgyes (Jaun Epstein from "Welcome Back Kotter!") is from my town..ah, the list goes on and on...
9. New Jersey is rich in history, as we are 1 of the original 13 states!! Woo-hoo! Some of the homes in my area are over 200 years old!!
And last but not least...
10. Since we are a major port for the import of gas, our gas prices are among the lowest in the country!
Ok...so it really stinks (literally and figuratively) up by Newark/ Elizabeth (refineries galore!!)..but please, next time you make a joke about New Jersey being "the armpit of America"..remember: Some of us really DO like it here!!
Ok...so I didn't get to be on TV :( But I had a great time! We took NJ Transit into Penn Station and then took a short cab ride to the studio. We arrived at the studio at 900am, a half hour earlier than we had to. But there was already a line. We stood outside for about 1/2 hour and then made our way into the building. Once there, they check to see if your name is on their list and then you move to the next line to have your bags checked and to go thru a metal detector. After that, you stand on line for about an hour, waiting for them to send you up to the studio. They call you by number (we were 100, 101 and 102) and you cram into an elevator with about 15 people and head upstairs. Once inside the studio, someone shows you where to sit. We happened to be dead center, about 5 rows up. Surprisingly, the studio isn't as big as it looks on TV. It's deceiving!! I always thought that they moved from each "area" (i.e. from the table to the couch to the fashion show area..) but IT'S ALL THE SAME AREA!! They just move the "area" to center stage on rollers. When they had the fashion show today, we were directly in front of the models when they showed the audience. I don't think that you could see us, tho. Doesn't really matter, tho.
The cast was very nice. Star came up into the audience and showed off her engagement ring, Elizabeth Hasselhoff came out to dance with the audience before the show began...they all talked to the audience during commercial breaks.
All My Children is in the studio directly across the hall (we're talking yards, not 1000's of feet)...When we got off the elevator, The Big One and Jessica saw "Ryan" from AMC...They were hysterical!! "Oh..he did a triple take..he smiled at us!!" Too funny!! For some reason I was looking in front of me as I walked, instead of in back of me....so I missed him!
Denis Leary and his wife gave everyone a copy of her book, An Innocent, A Broad. I was really hoping that jamie Pressly was going to give everyone some free lingerie ...but that didn't happen. She came across as rather defensive, I thought. I might be, too, if I knew that every time some did a Google search about me nude pictures showed up!! LOL!!!
My favorite person on The View has to be "The Viewmaster" himself, Bill Geddie. He's very self-effacing and funny.
Ok...I'm sure I've bored a few people to tears by now...and OH! Look!! Time for me to run to Church and pack up some Easter food baskets! Where does the time go?! LOL!!!!
Peace....and thanks for tuning in! ;)
Just a quick post before I go...Little Sharon had to cancel because she has a casting call!! I've been up since 630am...actually, earlier. Having nightmares about finding the right subway to take! LOL!! I asked Ray (my 16 year old) if she wanted to come along but she's gonna pass....too tired.
Post when I get back...ohhh, I'm sooo excited!!
Just got back from shopping for the outfit I'm going to wear when I go to see "The View" tomorrow. Denis Leary and his wife are supposed to be the guests, as is Jamie Presley from "Happy Family"...Funny thing about her...I wasn't sure who she was so I did a search, clicked on one of the links and VOILA!! Nude pictures of Jamie Presley!! LOL!! Now I feel like I know TOO MUCH about her!! After seeing those pics, I now understand why she was chosen to do the lingerie segment on the show tomorrow!!
If you get a chance, watch tomorrow (Wednesday) and see if you can spot me..I'll be wearing a yellow print shirt with a blue tee-shirt under it, khaki pedal pushers...I'm tall and wear glasses. I'll be with Little Sharon who is short and Japanese, Jessica who is tiny and cute and The Big One who is tall and has blonde hair. I'll smile at all of you!! I sure hope that it's not true about the camera adding 10 pounds..or I'm screwed! LOL!!
John from Losing It mentioned in his journal the other day that he'd like to meet all his AOL j-land friends someday. Me, too. Wouldn't it be great if AOL set something up for it's journalers in some central location and provided discount airfare?! It would be so much fun!! But then the question comes to mind: Will these people all really like me once they meet me? Is the cloak of anonymity for the best? Yes..we all know each other's names and some other things but do we REALLY know each other? I suppose some may know others better than some of us...but still, since we are not in physical contact, it's hard to know if you really do know a person. Oh, I'm beginning to ramble...
Anyway..have a great night! I'll write about my experience when I get back tomorrow afternoon!
Peace!
Well..busy weekend. First off, Herman took back our 6 week old (if that, even) Altima and got himself a fully loaded Maxima. I won't even tell you how much it cost because I , myself, have not yet come to terms with it. When he came back with it, I made him repeat after me: "You are the bestest wife in the whole world!" "You are the most beautiful woman in the world!" "I am the LUCKIEST man in the whole wide world!!" And he did. I told him that I likened the Maxima to a puppy that a child finds and wants to keep.."Please, Shar...can we keep it? Pul-leeeze??!!! I promise I'll take care of it and I'll let you drive it alot!! Please, Shar..please??!!" I told him that yes, he COULD keep it but the talk of a motorcycle and Corvette will now CEASE!! (How do you say "mid-life crisis"??)
Well..this all happened on Saturday night. He didn't get back from the car dealership til around 10pm and no one had eaten so off to Bennigan's we go..at 1030pm. By the time we got home it was midnight, talked til 1am..which was now REALLY 2am...and I had to be up at 8am, the latest. Because I was so afraid that I would oversleep, I woke up at 7am!! Laid in bed til 8am, got up and made some tea. Herman woke up so we chatted...til I realized that I had 20 minutes to take a shower and get to Church so that I could serve communion!! LOL!! (This is the story of my life!!) Got thru that ok (and yes, I can shower, put on my sparse makeup and dry my hair all in 15-20 minutes) and then went to the Duchess Diner (I say that because Dar really misses the Duchess!! LOL) for a late breakfast. Got home, sent an emergency pleas for help email to all my Deacon's and ran out the door to pick up my confirmation partner and her friend so that we could go do volunteer work at a local nursing home. (Anyone tired yet?!) Whew...We were there for about 2 hours, wheeling patients to our Sunday service, turning hymnal pages, serving coffe and returning them to where they came from. Tiring. It's a huge place. It used to be a tuberculosis hospital back in the day. Many floors and many wings. VERY creepy, too. By the time I got home (around 4pm) I was ready to crash...but NO...there was food shopping to be done and I hate sending Herman by himself because he wil come home withe the smallest bottle (or largest bottle) of whatever we need. (Talk about your run-on sentences!) Anyway, I took a nap later on in the evening so that I could watch "The Sopranos", which, BTW, if you missed it, was GREAT! One of my favorites, so far this season.
Saturday I went to the mall and bought a book about "Weird NJ", a staewide magazine that we have here in NJ. My girls would like to do a whole "Weird NJ" tour this summer. Oh, and I FINALLY found Peter Gabriel's "Secret World Tour" concert DVD at Barnes and Noble!! Woo-hoo!! So I stayed up til 2am this morning watching it!!
And how was your weekend??!! Peace! :)
Everyone in my house is eating dinner but since they are having spaghetti, I will not be joining them! (Spaghetti was the last food I ate before the horrible stomach virus kicked in..put it together!!) I cannot even LOOK at it! So instead I just typed up a list of dressings and beers that we have at the restaurant. I'll hand it to all the servers so that we don't have to keep bothering the bartender.
Work was crazy today! We had a party of 42 in the banquet room, a party of 12 in one section and a parties of 9 and 6 in yet another section. But really that was it...mostly parties. And thankfully so! \
I'm looking forward to this weekend altho I will be setting my clocks an hour ahead of Friday night rather than Saturday night. Why, you ask? Well...I'd rather make the "adjustment" on a day that I can sleep rather than on Sunday, when I have to serve communion and help out at a local nursing home. So i'll be "adjusting" on Saturday, thank you very much!! Will it work? Ummm..probably not but it's worth a shot, dontcha think?
Herman and I have to go sign our tax return tonight..yippee! Getting oodles of money back because I (technically) didn't work from mid-January til early November. ( I worked but "off the books"..and only for a bit.) Then I'm off to Target (tar-jay) to buy some new work pants and some other necessities...ok, "granny panties"!! LOL!! There, I've said it..I wear GRANNY PANTIES!! Hey, they're comfortable! I cannot wear "butt floss"...besides, I don't think I have that kinda ass anyway..Ok..I'll stop now..or soon I'll be admitting that I sleep naked..Oooopppss! Damn..I gotta watch that...I'll stop scaring everyone now..
I've been trying to add my picture to the "about me" section and I THOUGHT I had it but the picture took up the better part of the page so I'm gonna work on that. So in the meantime I've added a picture to this entry..It's from Christmas. I'll take another one soon and try to add it to the "about me" department. Oh, that and I'll have to change my age because I will be 43 2 weeks from today!! My birthday is April 15th-Income Tax Day! Woo-hooo!! I already told my mom that I would like a spa gift certificate..I really need a pedicure!
Next Wednesday, April 7, me, Little Sharon, The Big One and Jessica (my favorite bartender) are going to the city to be in "The View" audience!! I'll have to go and buy a new outfit for this major event because they specifically ask you to dress in bright colors. I'm a beige-kinda girl..and pastels..Love those pastels! My biggest fear is that they will be doing makeovers and they choose me!! I'd pee from laughing so hard! My girls would be THRILLED, though. They keep telling me that I look like I'm straight outta the 70's. I see nothing wrong with that. If it ain't broken, don't fix it. The only thing I wouldn't let them do is cut my hair. I love my hair and so does Herman. Oh, no coloring of the hair either..I like the color, too. Ok..I've gone too far with this...
So, I'm off to the tax people and Target..everyone have a great night! Peace!
